Hi, I’m Shay Ravacchioli. I’m an entrepreneur, engineer, pageant girl, and a proud member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. Actually, I’m not just a member. With a bra size of 32AAA, I’m president!
When I first sat down to write last Thursday’s Outfit of the Day post, I realized that I needed to write two separate posts instead. The first showcased the above outfit. The second post, or rather this post, is a confession.
The photo above is the first outfit I ever photographed with the intention of sharing on a blog. I took it last March. Until now, I was too self-conscious to post it.
Why? Because I thought it highlighted my small chest. And, let’s be real, that’s a pretty ridiculous fear to have.
No matter what outfit I’m wearing, it’s pretty obvious that I have a small chest! It would be virtually impossible to see any photo of me and think, “Man, she has huge boobs!” If you need any convincing, just scroll through my Instagram feed or check out the photos below:
But you know what I also realized? There’s nothing wrong with having a small chest.
It took me a long time to get comfortable with this. As I’ve mentioned a few times, I lost almost 50 pounds during the year 2018. During that time, I went from a size 32DDD to a 32AAA. Before my weight loss I struggled to find bras that were big enough. After my weight loss, I couldn’t find a bra that was small enough.
Throughout my weight loss journey, I initially went up a band size due to increased muscle mass. After more fat loss a year later, I’ve gone back down to my starting band size after losing even more fat on my back. I NEVER expected to lose so many cup sizes when I first set off to lose weight, but that’s luck for you! Everyone carries fat in different ways, and people also tend to lose fat in different places at different times throughout weight loss. I just happened to lose the fat in my breasts before losing most of the fat in my stomach, hips, and lower back.
Nowadays, I rarely wear bras because most stores don’t carry them in my size. I’ve tried special online boutiques, but they run very expensive. My two cost-effective options are either purchasing bras from Justice or buying ill-fitting ones from Victoria’s Secret. I’ve opted to go for the latter, because at least the Victoria’s Secret bras are push-up and look better under t-shirts!
Last year, I was humiliated by my lack of boobs. Before my weight loss, my favorite part of my body was my chest. I may have been a bigger dress size than I am now, but I loved my hourglass figure. Even as a size 10-12, I still had a defined waist and looked feminine no matter what I wore.
Now that I’m a size 00-0, my body is very different. I don’t have an hourglass figure- instead, I’m pear shaped. I don’t have a well-defined waist. Even at less than 18% body fat, my stomach still sticks out past the bottom of my chest, making me look heavier than I am. My hips are automatically the focal point of most outfits I wear, whether I want them to be or not. Many clothes made for adult women don’t fit me. I’m too tiny for many adult boutiques and have to spend extra money to get things tailored. I can easily fit into sizes 12-14 in the children’s department.
No one ever talks about adjusting to your new body after losing weight. Mentally, I equated my curvy figure with femininity. When I lost my curvy figure and became more of a “stick,” I felt like less of a woman.
When did we as a society start equating a large cup size with femininity? How messed up is that?
I’ve been told that I have a perfect body, except for my small breasts. I’ve been told that I could be a model if only I had fake boobs and a nose job (joke’s on that person- I’ve modeled in a couple of runway shows!) I’ve been told that I have no chance of winning Miss Arizona USA or a bikini competition because of my small cup size.
In fact, up until about a month ago I planned on getting a boob job before competing in my next pageant.
Bodies of all different shapes and sizes are beautiful. My god-given shape may not be traditionally “feminine,” but what does that mean, anyway? Femininity is what you define it as. Despite all my difficulties finding clothes that fit, I feel beautiful in my body.
I am a woman regardless of my cup size, dress size, or how I style my makeup and hair. All shapes and sizes deserve to be celebrated on the Miss Arizona USA stage, and I can’t wait to walk the stage as a small-chested woman next January.
Note: This post was originally published on Ciao by Shay on September 24, 2019. It was migrated to Happy Health Stylish upon my blog’s rebranding.